Welcome!
My focus will be more on the moms here, as I am a mom. HOWEVER, you dads…YOUR ROLE is super important and I believe your love and daily involvement make your child/children the best they can be in this world!
For homes with same-sex parents, the above is true too. Both parent’s love and involvement are key!
MOMS (I can’t speak for others), BUT DADS MAY RELATE TO THIS TOO…
I always say that we ALL share a special bond and now share middle initials…they are G and W.
G for guilt.
If anything goes wrong, we need to go back to work, or we did not do something that we NOW know would have been better to do…guilt. Is this crazy or what? This is so unrealistic!!!! But we share this anyway. As moms, we need to support each other more and not try to outdo or compete with others…after all, don’t we really want everyone to succeed and want the world to be a better place? Comparing is natural, but it’s what you do with it that makes the difference. Help each other out. THERE IS ENOUGH GOOD FOR EVERYONE TO SUCCEED IF WE SUPPORT EACH OTHER! There is always someone more talented, smarter, etc. Surround yourself with these kids/moms if you can and take the ride together. BUT if you are not feeling comfortable in this group then be assertive and leave. Seek out a more supportive and positive group…attract it and do not feel guilty!! Each child/ person teaches the other child/person something he/she needs to learn. It could even be lessons on thoughtfulness and compassion. Seek professional help if needed…it not only helps you but also your child.
W for worry.
(Sorry to say this can elevate as your child/children get older, especially in this quick age of technology.) HOWEVER, as you know we can not stay in this place of worry. We need to give our child/children their wings to fly and become independent, responsible adults that positively contribute to our society. We need to teach, partner with professionals, and research. Isn’t that what you are doing now? Let your child lead you in some ways so you can support their unique passion. All of this will help decrease your fears and create a positive home environment. Embrace and pay attention to your child’s cues and interactions. Imitating him/her in actions/sounds may open up a new door/insight to your child. Your child has a lot to teach you too.
Acknowledge your G and W.
Talk about it (do not obsess on it) and keep moving along! Keep a journal if that helps you.
Now I want us to share the initial P. Not for Patti but for Pride! You got this! You already feel love like you never did before, and no one else can describe it to you. It’s something only a MOM/parent/caregiver can understand! Be strong by asking for help, embracing the chaos and moving along, and supporting each other! Be the best advocate you can for your child, and others.
A poem I read years ago, called “Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley, has stayed with me and has often been referred to parents when having a child diagnosed with Down Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy. I believe we can all relate to this poem in some way when we may have had other expectations about parenting, or to gain more understanding.
